One year after college.. taking stock of my life

Has it really been one year ? It sure doesn't feel like it. Seems like just yesterday, when we had bid our 'final' adieus to each other at good ol' CP. Hugging each other, solemn faced, and with heavy hearts. Wondering if we would ever find friends like these again (at least I was...). But somewhere deep inside, there was a hope for a bright future, a hope for friends who would be just like the ones that I was saying my au revoirs to, a hope for a life as content and satisfaction-filled as I lived thus far.

And it was with that hope, that I joined Adobe. Hoping to meet great minds and even greater people. For the first 4-5 months I even managed to live the kind of life I was hoping for. Cool work, recognition at the work place, making a couple of amazing friends in my team, and a wonderful environment, I thought that I had it all. Going to office really early in the morning to chat with others, partying at least once every week, passing time with like-minded people, and leaving late after having played a game of tennis. I loved it.

What I did not realize was the cost at which all this was coming. I failed to fathom the simple fact that the more the time I spent with these friends, the lesser the time I had to share with my family. Leaving early and coming late became a source of irritation for my parents. And rebellious that our generation is, I felt victimized at being told how to lead my life. I was 'working' now, after all. And financially independent. Never for a moment did I sit back to realize the effect that the harsh words I spoke at home were having on my relationship with my family.

Not only this, the plans that I had made for my future were suffering too. Content with my state of work and very very satisfied indeed to be taken under the aegis of a couple of very sharp fellows at work, I started thinking about changing my plans. And then there was her. Coming into my life like a fresh breeze and literally taking my breath away. With her in my mind, all my well laid out plans were bunked.

And the third mistake in my life (couldn't resist it, accusations of plagiarism be damned...) was taking my old friends for granted. Just like I had neglected my family, I had foolishly lost touch with my friends, who just a few months ago had been part of my every day life.

And now with the exceedingly strained conditions and frayed nerves at home, with my career plans having gone for a spin & the mentors having deserted me just when I needed them the most, with my relationship with her at the nadir of all nadirs (and with me to blame almost completely for it), and having forsaken my old pals, I can only sit back, pause for a moment and realize that nothing worse could possibly happen to me right now, and that anything that happens now is gonna be for the better only.

This one year has passed really quickly, did I say? Maybe not. So much has happened in this one year. I have experienced emotions I used to scoff other people for having. I have been both marveled & shocked at my parents', my friends' and my attitude and reactions to various things. It certainly doesn't seem possible to fit it all in one year. And yet it has been just that much time since we all left for distant shores (and for not so distant ones too) to pursue our dreams & aspirations. It has been just that much time since we decided that we would keep in touch and some of us have failed to do so (u listening madda...??? ... er, reading... )

Please let's get back together some time really soon guys. All of us. It has been so long since I have genuinely had fun...

A place called home...

Driving back from college some days ago, lost amidst the songs playing on the stereo, a sudden sight arrested my attention. I have no idea why it did, I guess it wouldn't have on any other day.

A small house, with a light on in one of the rooms. A woman standing in the balcony chatting with (I guess) a neighbor, and two kids playing in the small park right underneath. I suppose it just reminded me of my childhood, of maybe about 10-12 years ago. We also used to live in a small(er) apartment near JLN stadium. Lots of friends (read children of the same age group), and a couple of rather special ones as well. I still remember the way we kids used to rush off to the stadium grounds every evening in the summer months, buy our customary lick-lolly from our old ice-cream waale uncle. Then rush off into the fields and just roll down the slopes, play hide-and-seek, chain-chain and u know, basically have the time of our lives. Our mothers standing in the balcony just like that woman, chatting with the friendly neighbors talking about all and sundry. Dad coming home in the evening in the rain, with my sis worried ki the car would get wet (she was arnd 3-4 and sooooooooo cute..!!).

Ohhh, how i wish those days would return. Those uncomplicated days. No mad rush, with the life so peaceful. And john, irrespective of whatever u might think, i really do wish that we were born some 50 years ago or so... Just think of it. In the hills of Darjeeling, romancing with the love of ur life, meeting in the evenings in the cloud-covered dales. Peace all around, no tension of getting home early to be able to mail back some stuff to ur boss/colleague/professor. Just being able to spend some real quality time with the people u like.

I digress. So as I was saying, this sight really did move me. I was forced to pull over and stop. Another thing that shook me was how a small piece of land could so easily turn into such a special place. A place called home. Do you also get the amazing satisfaction/enigmatic feeling , when u return home after a trip, even if you had been out with your entire family..?? Is this home-sickness as well?? Or house-sickness?? I don't know.


But, such things do put everything else in perspective. That night, at danny's place, when we were all talking about our regrets/satisfying moments/learnings from our 4 years of college, I did mention something about not taking the ones close to you for granted, especially your family. I don't know as to how many of you actually paid attention to what I said. But I say it again yaar. There's nothing like home, nothing like family. I guess nothing, and nobody in this whole wide world is worth neglecting your family for. Not even the special 'one'. But obviously that is not to say that you forget your friends, which brings me to my last point.

We all are going our own diff ways now. John and maddy off to meet uncle sam. Danny would most probably do so too in a couple of years. Deepak off to bangalore, (i guess for quite a long time..). So just Gauri and me here.. We will all be making new friends. But please please let's not forget each other as well. I have the ugly tendency to indulge a bit to much in/with anything new that I get/find. But not this time, not with friends. So, milate rehana yaar. Please. I am extremely lucky to have so many great friends at one go. Now I don't want to lose all of them at one go as well.

So, here's to us, the geeky gang..!!! :D