Firstly, really sorry about Raj, anish. When I told my mom about this and told her that he was a friend of yours, she actually got depressed. She started telling me all the things that you are talking about.
And I agree with most of those things, if not all. It's definitely sad to lose someone you know. Even I have, though we were not much more than classmates back at skl. It sure does hurt and does put everything in perspective.. All your plans, your desires and especially all the places where you think that you were unlucky or were short-changed, now that you still remain even though the other is not. Of course, everybody feels that all the bad things just can't happen to them. "Somebody died in that bomb blast. A kid was orphaned!! Man, I feel bad." And that's it. Full stop. Nothing more. I feel the same. Maybe I would get bleary-eyed for a few seconds, but half an hour later you just might catch me watching the episodes of seinfeld or reading LOTR for the 100th time and laughing at kramer's or at sam's histrionics. Because, life goes on. You put it really well anish, when u said that the universe doesn't revolve around us (or should i say, me??)
As you said, we should stop putting off things for later. We should realise the value of time in our lives, coz we aren't here forever. Agreed.
But anish, having said that, it doesn't mean that we stop planning. That we stop thinking about the future. I have heard, so many times, of people who say that they take life as it comes. I say, that's all bull shit. You have to plan, john. Life can't simply be one knee-jerk reaction after another without following any specific plans. There has to be a reason, a method, an underlying framework to structure our lives.
You say, that whatever we do for ourselves doesn't matter. Of course it does..
Maybe I am digressing here, but the point is that no matter how you perceive your life to be, irrespective of whether you think of yourself as the world's biggest recluse or maybe an anchorite, the truth is that there is someone or something whose life you always have an effect upon. There is always someone who depends on you, who derives emotions of either connotation from you. Be it happiness, or displeasure. Be it elation or disappointment. Be it love or hatred. Somebody, somewhere is more dependant on you than you can ever be aware of. And that is why you have to plan. You have to lead your life in a certain fashion which would help your "someone" also lead a happy and successful life. Of course, you shouldn't lead a selfish life, nor do you have to behave like an altruist all the time, but as long as you take care of the ones you love, and the ones who love you, who is to complain?? All we need to do is care. And people won't remember us after 2-3 years?? The ones whose life you affected would. always. As long as I am able to make even one perosn genuinely happy in my life, as long as I can educate even one person, as long as I can bring into the life of an unprivileged person, lasting moments of unbridled joy and leave even a small impression on his heart, I will be satisfied. And I've done that. Atleast some of it. And that's why the fire burns inside me to do something more for humanity. For nature.
Yes, you will marry, have kids, and a job. And he won't. Yes, you might live up to ripe old age and he won't. But does that really matter. Maybe he had achieved all that he wanted from his life. Maybe what would have remained ahead of him was nothing but hardship and struggle and nothing else. In fact, how do you know that you aren't in for all that?? Not for nothing has this earth been called
Mrityulok in Hindu mythology. And agnostic though I am, I am sure of at least this much. That, everybody is here for a reason. And you live only so long as to fulfill that reason. Nothing more, nothing less. He was here for a reason, and he went away when the reaosn ceased to exist. So will you, and so will I. But as you said, we aren't the centre of the universe.
So, we remould our lives and continue. Why feel guilty for that?? Why feel guilty for the fact that you can enjoy many things that (supposedly) he can't now. Who knows, maybe he is the one who is now in the best position among us all, having finally unravelled the mystery of death and residing with the almighty one?? Being as close to him as is possible and free of all burdens. Ain't that something to cherish, even desire? Ultimately, why should we fear death?? Because we would leave all the worldly attractions?? All the things that tempt us, force us to commit sins?? It is the ultimate irony of life that we humans cherish most what is the most harmful to us. Money and power.. Imagine a life (yes a life, because that is what it is..) free from all cares and worries, where you could rejoice being close, at last, with him. Imagine being in that state and gettin all the wisdom form him. And imagine that you have to work hard before you could reach him and be worthy of his attention and love. So, don't treat your life ahead as a sinned gift. Take it as an opportunity to wash away your own sins and redeem your self. And to do that, don't just live for the moment, at the moment. Plan. Think. Accomplish. That is what I believe. And that is what the point is..